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i've held the DADA position for 2 years now

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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2008|02:25 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
LOLs from the AKC Yukanuba National Championship:

Announcer 1: Here comes the Portuguese Water Dog, Joaquin. Joaquin on water!!!

On the dog named Bubba but nicknamed "Big Sexy"
Announcer 1: Excellent owner.
Announcer 2: You better believe it.

Announcer 1: His hobbies are climbing trees and chasing sparrows. Tell me, how does a giant schnauzer climb trees?
Annnouncer 2: I have no idea.

I ate at Paula Deen's restaurant The Lady and Sons the other night and it was motherfucking DELICIOUS.
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(no subject) [Jan. 17th, 2008|09:25 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now

Today in American Lit we had to drag our desks into a big circle and then put nametags on our desks. Apparently this "facilitates discussion" or something. In fact, I feel it hindered discussion, at least on my part. Since I could face everyone, I just studied their faces and watched everyone like a magpie the whole class instead of paying attention to the discussion. At one point the teacher said, "Well, let's hash this out. I think with our considerable literary minds we can do that somewhat." In my head I totally LOLed and then I looked to the guy next to me to see if he thought it was as funny as I did, but he didn't. He had a look on his face that suggested he did consider us to be considerable literary minds. Yah ok. Sure. I wrote in my notes, "Considerable literary mind next to you is a pill." Just in case I forgot. I turned to see what the girl on the other side of me was up to and if she'd be any use to me, but then I saw she was sketching the teacher in a small notepad and I just gave up and stared at the others for the rest of the class. One guy had on a black tshirt that said "Kiss Kiss" and so then I got that Chris Brown song stuck in my head.

Scene from a Round Table Lit discussion:
Dr. Town: So, what do we think the intention of these travel logs were? Are they literature? Do they count as literature in a sense?
Me, in my head: She want that lovey dovey, that kiss kiss
Considerable Literary Mind: Definitely not. This is mere reporting, there's no narrative or descriptive devices, it's flat. Just like comics aren't literature.
Goth Girl: EXCUSE ME?
Me, in my head: They hatin on me, they only diss diss. And you see this bandanna hangin, that mean I'm like a bandit (like a bandit bandit).

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(no subject) [Jan. 17th, 2008|11:25 am]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
I needed one more elective to graduate in May so I chose American Lit. Those kids are NUTJOBS. We had to read some shit like Native American poetry and then post about it on a discussion board and some of these posts are so WTF/LOL:

Subject: Depressing
Does anyone find the poem, "At the Time of the White Dawn," depressing? Poor deer, narrating his own death.
Subject: Re:Depressing
No. The deer is part of a natural system of murder that lives on despite the attempted impositions of human morality, and therefore does not gain my sympathies.

The person after the second one wrote, "Who cares, venison is good." I need to find out who they are, where they sit, and then befriend them. I have a feeling they will be my saving grace in that class.
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(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2007|05:51 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
"I used to think the world was broken down by tribes," I said. "By black and white. By Indian and white. But I know that isn't true. The world is only broken into two tribes: The people who are assholes and the people who are not."

-The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Sherman Alexie

I put my Christmas tree up last night and the top of the fucker is too fat to fit my excellent Santa Claus tree topper on. I was pissed. The Grinch was on though, that made things a little better. And the Wizard of Oz. And the cocaine. Just kidding.
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(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2007|03:51 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
Richie Rich was on tv this afternoon and 20 minutes in I was PISSED when I realized it wasn't Blank Check.

Fuck that, I'm putting up the Christmas tree today.
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(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2007|03:41 am]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
"I grew up obsessed with dragons... I wondered quickly if I'd give up my life so that a dragon could live. If someone offered me that deal, your life for the existence of dragons. I thought maybe yes, maybe no."
-Dave Eggers, You Shall Know Our Velocity

I think when I was younger I probably felt that way about dinosaurs. My mom got me a Jurassic Park color mural and I hung it on my wall and if I was bored or if nothing good was on Nickelodeon, I'd color on it. Shit was probably a masterpiece, why do I not own it still and what happened to it?

This week I didn't answer one phone call or text. Gahahah. Fuck people sometimes, for real. I do not want to hang out. I do not want to GO out. I want to go to school, come home and sit and be happy. That's easy enough. I had to go to an initiation dinner on Tuesday and I was BEYOND annoyed about it. I acted like I'd been sent to Auschwitz or something. Mighty, mighty bitching and moaning. Nick was bragging to me Monday about how drunk he'd gotten last weekend. "I threw up five times! I was carrying around a bottle of 100 proof peppermint schnapps!" The fuck? Then he acted confused when I laughed. For real, peppermint schnapps? Tool. I'm too old for that shit. I have done my partying. I'm burnt out on it. You go out to the same bars, see the same people, hear the same music and drink the same drinks. For four years. Or in my case, almost five. That's getting old. I want to sit at home, eat dinner and watch The Biggest Loser. Go on with your peppermint schnapps. Wow that still makes me laugh.

Dear Jess,
No matter how skinny you get you will never have itty bitty twig legs, so you will have to find other ways to be fierce.

Dear Jess,
Fuck. Fuck you legs. But okay.
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2007|04:13 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

SWITCH YA NECKTIES TO PURPLE LABELS (those orange pants gotta go)
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2007|01:42 am]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
Funniest sentence I heard all day:

"Feeling ripped off and misunderstood, the Hell's Angels ended their flirtation with the big screen."
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JESUS IS COMING SOON [May. 29th, 2006|06:55 pm]
i've held the DADA position for 2 years now
I had to stop in Dudley, Georgia on the way home yesterday and I found this magnificent sign:

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